How to Not Take Sides

March 3, 2017

There is a dark side and there is a light side in every demographic. Take Christians for example: There are Christians that make Christians look bad, which means there are people that call themselves Christians that don’t act like it; therefore, we are divided by many denominations because we disagree on theories of scripture. Who wants to claim the dark side!?? Assembly of God? haha jk.

Or another example: You have the democrats and the republicans. One is the dark side and the other is the light side. Naturally, neither will claim the “dark” side, but it’s safe to say that the “independence” group is riiiiiiiiiiiight there in the middle. Neither dark, nor light. That is where I am in most things. Im not a republican or democrat; and I’m a non-denominational-ist.

Let’s say you’re in a community of a certain demographic of people that support or believe in something. You have the realists, you have the zealots, you have the busy bodies and you have the uptight veterans. Which one do you claim? All of them look horrible in their own way, so where do you put yourself? None will admit they are in one of these categories, but typically these are our options in communities. So, how do you stay in the middle and not take sides or get involved in drama or get hated or know your shit without sounding like a bitchy know-it-all? I’ll help you.


  1. Being understanding to both sides. Listen to both sides of a story, try to understand both sides instead of instantly defending one over the other. Both sides fail at some point. No human is perfect. So clearly no group is perfect.
  2. Avoid gossiping. Don’t entertain gossip. You can listen, sure, be a listening ear; but don’t repeat and spread it. Listening to someone vent and inputting respectful, practical and reasonable responses of understanding is one thing (the good action). Taking what you’re told and telling another, “confirming” with another, that is when you moved into “gossip territory”.
  3. Speak on the phone. Avoid permanent, screen shooting opportunities. I get it; some people need to vent and forget. The next time you want to get something off your shoulder, give them a call to do it. Trust no one.
  4. Be 100% honest. This gives you the chance to never have to lie because just like when you were a kid, you will eventually get in trouble for lying or twisting the story or denying. It’s called karma.
  5. Say it directly to the person. Question them why this is being said about them, if they said this about them, if this is true or if that was needed, etc. “Go to the horse’s mouth.
  6. TRY to get alone. Some people thrive on drama and scandals. That’s why some soap operas are going on 25 years of seasons! People love it, love the drama, feed off of it and can’t wait till the next episode. Resist, or you soon will become the drama.
  7. Stick and focus on the cause. It’s all about said cause. It’s all about why we are here…in this group. Do not forget the main reason we are together or that cause will shrink.

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