If you really stop and think about it, the statement: It’s not about the scale, it’s about the weight, is a metaphor that can be used in a couple of different ways. You can visually see that as either a two-sided weighing scale with plates so you can weigh items [OR] A set of weights and a simple scale on the floor. As you read, you will come to find my version of this statement and images to back it up.
As a kid growing up, I was never skinny. I always had meat on my bones. My ribcage is naturally wide, so I always looked like a thick girl as I matured into adulthood.
My weight would always fluctuate, as we know it always does, throughout pregnancy, my divorce depression, age, and medical issues. However, regardless of being 140, 155 or 201 (lbs), my body always had a specific look to it. It kept it’s shape; which trust me, for a short woman (5’2″), I’m extremely lucky here.
Many people would comment about my body structure when my weight was mentioned, so I began to truly wonder why. Was it something I was doing throughout my daily lifestyle? I was barely able to work out throughout the last five years due to numerous medical issues and chronic illnesses. I barely ate 1600 calories a day. I couldn’t think of any reason other than beautiful genetics, as to being any possible reason for my “placement”.
After I gave birth to my last child, I had promised myself that I would finally put myself first and get healthy as much as my disease would let me. Though I couldn’t do much cardio or utilize fitness options, I focused on what I could do:
- a balanced diet
- my mental health
- the physical strength I did have
- lifting weights
- and doing house chores
When I began to focus on me, I started to notice something. I was eating the same way I always had, working around the farmhouse just as hard as I always had, but I wasn’t losing weight. I was gaining.
Keep in mind, this was the first time in my life where I finally chose to focus on me and take care of myself instead of someone else. I had spent my entire life serving others, submitting to others, putting my wants, needs, or desires aside. As an empath, I always desired to heal the energies around me by giving mine to them, draining myself while filling others, just so the energies were not uncomfortable for me.
It was safer for me to be surrounded by stable energies and an unfulfilled self rather than unstable energies and being full of self.
But here I finally was, learning to love myself and put myself first.
As my health began to level out and find some smooth ground, I ran across an interesting situation while at my doctor visit. I was given an update on my most current weight, which resulted in a conversation around my body.
I am a strong woman. I always have been. I was always out lifting the boys growing up. Throughout my fluctuating weight, my strength was always there and naturally encouraged by my self. I loved lifting weights, boxing, and doing yoga. I was already ready and willing to lift furniture, move things around the farmhouse, etc. I was always exerting my strength, so when they ran more tests they found me to have significant muscle form throughout my body and little extra fat (then the norm you’re supposed to have), despite my 200 lb weight. Sure, there’s more fat than I would want, but there is so much muscle that the extra fat isn’t much of a consequence.
I have my “momma pooch”, I am thick, but it’s placed effectively throughout. It’s all thanks to weight lifting and supplements.
Do I have weight I still want to lose? DEFINITELY. I won’t be happy until I am 150 lbs, but for me, what would that look like? I might not like what I see.
Follow me on my journey. More to come.
Thanks for reading!